Going up to Humantay Lake was a mistake. The clouds couldn't make up their mind and we kept going from complete fog to full exposure to the elements. The lake is roped off because they don't want people tampering with it even though the government introduced trout to the lake a couple years back. Unsurprisingly, the trout died and the rope that remains is quite an eyesore. It was practically impossible to take a picture without the rope interfering. This lake would be best utilized for rock skipping but that is apparently frowned upon so as not to disturb any unlikely to be surviving trout.

I also thought it was odd that there were rock power towers (cairns) everywhere given this is supposedly a sacred place, pachamama. I don't appreciate when people disrupt nature.

1 star.

If the sound of avalanches is disconcerting to you, this hike is an immediate NO. Even if you were somehow undisturbed by the threat, the noise wildly impeded my ability to concentrate on the limited singing of the few birds that actually decided to show up.

Inauthentic would be an appropriate word to describe this hike. On the way up, I saw a sherpa carrying propane gas. If that doesn't get your blood boiling, I don't know what will! This is the forest, there are so many trees they could've used for fuel instead. Transporting fracked gas halfway across the world to assuage the energy habits of petulant foreigners, is exactly why all the weather here is screwed up. 

Another thing that bothered me was at the summit; there were two signs displaying current altitude and there was an approximately 100 ft discrepancy in their measurements. I hate unreliable readouts. Technically it was a 30 meter difference that I had to convert to feet because the rest of the world refuses to use the imperial measuring system. What a nightmare. If you are someone who likes to plan and calibrate so you have the right gear, supplies, food, etc. good luck because this hike isn't for you. They didn't even bother to explain their measuring methodology, my hunch is they were just guessing.

Apu Salkantay, IE the gigantic 20,000+ ft (so they say) mountain is sacred to the indigenous Andean people and their Inkan heritage, but in the 1950's some arrogant Americans decided to climb it. It's obvious they messed up the Feng shui, especially the people who died trying. Now they're just stuck in the glaciers - I don't see any positivity in that.

If all that wasn't enough, our views were obstructed nearly the entire time, whether by: clouds, other mountains, or overgrown foliage.

1 Star.

Unremarkable. There were landslides that wiped out the normal trail so we had to walk on the road which they weren't considerate enough to pave.

The only places we stopped sold coffee, avocados, bananas, etc. that were grown on site. But, I've gotten produce from the supermarket before that looked identical, so I don't see why you'd be fussed to come this far for the same thing.

1 Star.

The rainforest didn't disappoint, it rained ALL DAY for the most part. We might as well have been walking through a carwash except that would have been much better because at least we would have come out clean.

If you don't like having to avoid rockslides, stay away. My friend got hit by one.

I also saw the most unnatural sight I've ever seen. It was a rainbow and cutting right through was an unsightly power line. What a disgrace.

The trail maintenance was as equally present as modern day Inkans, it was non-existent. After a while I found it less cumbersome to let the branches smack me in the face as I walked rather than try to clear them out of the way.

1 Star.

In life they say work smarter not harder, nowhere is that exemplified here. So many logistics to get to this hike and to cap it off you start at such a high altitude that you're out of breath from the getgo.

It only gets worse because as your oxygen gets depleted you helplessly realize you are barely actually ascending so when you get to the top the views aren't all that impressive. Just a lake, some farmland, mountains, clouds, and rocks. If this hike was located on the ocean, many of the aforementioned problems would've been avoided and the sounds of crashing waves would've made more sense.

Poor location choice.

1 Star.

The beach is in the middle of the desert. If you thought that'd mean little wildlife you'd be sorely mistaken. I counted at least 3 lizards, could never see less than 100 birds on the horizon at any given time (many different species too), and these crab looking, mollusk-like moving creatures dotting the shallow seas. A beach is a bad setting to commingle with wildlife.  The birds also weren't the American kind, content to get fat on french fries and potato chips; these birds were hella suspicious when I tried tossing them a cracker crumb.

Another thing I didn't enjoy about this beach was its lack of commercialization. There were umbrellas and lounge chairs but no beach valet to help clarify which seats were available. Not even a single food stand, and I know there's fresh food nearby, the birds kept diving into the ocean to eat it.

Better suited for the birds.

1 Star.

Ho-hum Mountain would've been more fitting.  If getting high is your idea of excitement then perhaps you would've had a better time than I did. In addition to the contact high I got from a group of stoners as we exited the hike, there was an Xcel 'natural' gas pipeline running alongside the hike. I'm just getting reacclimated to altitude, but I think the gasline was leaky because I was feeling uncustomarily slightly lightheaded when I got to the top of our first ascent.  As a result of the gas leak, mine and my friends dog were both acting kind of funky as well, especially when they were playing close to the orange signs denoting the pipeline (total eyesores, by the way).  

Another thing that bothered me were the temperature swings on the hike. We were either shrouded by tree cover or walking in open daylight which meant full shadows or none at all. I prefer hikes where the shadows are more blended throughout so the temperature stays more consistent.

Last thing to note was the aspen trees. Not only were they covered in graffiti carvings, but they were super stout. If you are unfamiliar with aspen trees, this is a trail to avoid as it will give you unrealistic expectations for the trees girth. They looked unnatural and I imagine it was a result of the leaking 'natural' gas.

1 Star.

It's a shame they don't let you pick the wild flowers, they were disorderly and unorganized. With good pruning they'd be more abundant and less haphazard looking.

I didn't see any mountain lions but I guess they're nearby because I heard people hunting.

We saw nobody on the trail which was unsettling to say the least.

To get the really good views you had to wonder off the trail and into the woods. There were no signs to get to these viewing spots and once we did we could only find rocks that weren't the comfiest to lay on. I don't normally complain about moderate inconveniences but when you hang out somewhere for nearly 2 hours doing nothing at all - any impediments to your well being tend to be really amplified.

This picture was super forced - we only smiled because it is for our dog's Instagram. 

1 Star.

What an agonizingly dull way to spend two weeks.  There are way more drawbacks than benefits to Ardeche (an unremarkable region in southern France that is basically one big designated regional park). It's quite deceiving to call an area a park when there are full blown towns inside of it, including supermarkets and hardware stores, etc.  That would never fly in a country that actually took the outdoors seriously. Don't even try talking to people about camping - they're practically allergic to it. 

When I hike I like to make it purposeful but Ardeche is just so pointless. Wildflower inundation is real, at some point it's like enough already.  I was disturbed by the packs of wandering goats and lonesome cows without the customary black and white markings.

If you're going to come all the way to France, stick to the things that you've heard of (ie Eiffel Tower, drink expensive wine, dine at restaurants that have English on their menu so you know what you're getting) they're popular for a reason!

Total waste of time. 

1 Star.

First of all, this place needs to be renamed 'Found Lake' because it is teeming with tourists. They made us park in a high school parking lot and take a bus to the trailhead. I presume this was done to appease the New Yorkers and Californians who are new to the area; traffic and crowds really make them feel at home. These pandemic catalyzed coasties who besieged Colorado  really know how to put their stamp on things, and they've stamped and trampled their way all over this trail in particular. 

Ironically, the roaring river drowned out the noises from the human stampede; you can imagine how deafening that was.

Maybe if the trail didn't have such an enchanted name, these impressionable people would've dispersed elsewhere. 

Is it just me or do all alpine lakes pretty much seem the same? I'm struggling to convince myself otherwise. Let them have it.

1 Star.

I've got some beef with the parking lot people, tree trimmers, and public planners who were responsible for this hike. 

First off, there was no parking lot. Instead, I had to park on the road and walk to the trailhead. When you are doing a 6 mile hike with 2,500+ feet of elevation, the last thing you want to do is waste precious energy walking another .1-.2 miles on pretentious Boulder city streets just to get to the trail. 

As you can see in the bottom left hand side of the picture, there was a patch of trees with no leaves because they had been burned in a fire years ago. What a blight. Also, the trees near the summit became more sparse and were not evenly dispersed which made it very susceptible to wind.  I found it inconsiderate that the most inclement weather was the same place that actually had decent views. 

Those views could not be shared by everyone unfortunately. I must have seen 50 dogs on this hike but only 2 at the summit. The rest of the dogs had to stop about 50 feet short because the rocks were too steep. I think it's imperative that the American Canine Association take a stand to ensure that dogs have the same summit accessibility as their human counterparts. 

1 Star. 

As you can see in the picture, clearly this is not New York; and what a shame. They could've taken a page out of New York's subway system and done a better job of pointing out landmarks. The continental divide is supposedly in that picture to the left, but there was nothing denoting the actual divide. In even the simplest geography book, the continental divide is more apparent than it was in real life. Maybe if it wasn't as cloudy the dividing line would have been visible. Not recommended.

1 Star.

Such a frustrating hike... what could have been some of the most breathtaking views in the world, known as the "Swiss Alps of America," was for naught. Mostly all the views were obstructed by trees and rocks and those that weren't were ruined by the roads you can see in the foreground.

If the park creators focused less on building roads to get there and did a better job of tree trimming and rock removal, the views wouldn't have been as spoiled.

Definitely not worth the drive from Ouray.

1 Star. 

Meh, underwhelming. A riverless valley with a bunch of boulders and sparse rock art. In fact if weren't for us meeting Pete - a literal archaeologist - at the beginning of the trail, we wouldn't have found any petroglyphs at all. I just don't see the attraction. My 6 year old neighbor's rock art is at least equally as impressive and I don't have to wonder through the desert and pricker bushes to find it.

1 Star.

PS If you're ever out in this neck of the woods, Pete (5 Star guy) is starting a tour guide company called Wild West End Tours. 

Can't even lay the blame on anyone else here. The name says it all and yet I was tempted anyways - what a hot mess. Dante's Inferno on earth. Skip it and spend the extra 30 minutes in Vegas.

There were no lemonade vendors on the day I went despite it being 110°+. And don't even think about using the bathrooms. Nobody thought to run plumbing to the desert so the poop sits at the basin of the vault toilet and boils like a cauldron of hot lava.

1 Star. 

For a state that gets 300 days of sunshine, this park managed to be overcast. Sure, it shielded me from the early June heat but it also meant that the colors in the forest didn't pop like they normally would. Honestly, the views were best from the meadow at the bottom and though I got a 360 degree view at the top of all the surrounding mountains and rolling hills - was it even worth it? Typically when I summit on a hike, I like to have a snack and talk with fellow hikers, I couldn't even find anyone else up there! 

On the way up, there was a sign detailing that many of the trees had been taken out so as to prevent overcrowding in the forest which could lead to disease, a lack of undergrowth, and a higher likelihood of wildfire spread. I just think humans should stay out of nature. PERIOD. In the areas where the trees hadn't been prematurely cut, it might not have been as pretty but I found it easier to breathe with all the extra oxygen in the air. I read many complaints about the excessive amount of mountain bikers, and while I saw my fair share, I also couldn't help but notice the tracks they left in the dirt. This is irregular terrain (ie different from footstep marks) and being such, I'd recommend you bring your more multi-purpose, extra grippy hiking shoes. Though the ranger was unaware, I harvested a few rocks for my rock garden and felt guilt-tripped because the park ranger had been so nice to me when I started my hike. 

If you are someone like me who insists on parking in the closest space to the trailhead so as to not get burnt out while walking to the hike, I wouldn't recommend 3 Sisters. You might have to walk 50 yards or more to get to the trailhead or wait several minutes to get a closer parking spot.

1 Star. 

The only thing that could make this park worse is if it was located in Wyoming. Don't come if you're in a time crunch. Buffalo (I'm not even sure why they call them that since they're actually Bison) traffic adds on average an additional 35 minutes when driving around the park. The owls were hella rude and didn't respect quiet hours at the campsite, they kept cooing all night. Several owls had the audacity to land in the tree our hammock was attached to. They proceeded to stare at us for over an hour - very disconcerting.

Overall, the roads were not well thought out, many 2 way roads briefly turned into one way zones when going through narrow tunnels that were drilled through rock. I chalk that up to either laziness or poor planning. You had to depend on the good faith of the person on the other side not to drive at you head on.

1 Star. 

Be prepared to not even see the water if you come here in the winter months, this place freezes over. The lake is at high elevation so unless you plan on biking up, you might want to stay away when gas prices are high due to the lower fuel efficiencies.

1 Star.

Like Bryce Canyon, seen one hoodoo seen em all. Seriously though. Pictures were all blown out because the formations are white and the sky was overcast.

1 star. 

Talk about obstructed views! Dont get me wrong, this place is the plains but in the distance the view of the mountains is partially obstructed by the Denver skyline - what a disgrace. If humans would stop ruining habitats for their own gain, you could be in the park and get a clear shot of the whole mountains from any angle without having to drive around to get that perfect IG picture. Speaking of driving around, many of the roads here are straight and would make for perfect drag racing. That said I didn't see any events on their official calendar. The plains are vast and because of that pictures on your phone won't look as cool as real life so if you're coming for the 'gram' and don't have a DSLR with a zoom lens don't even bother. Colorado is known for its mountains anyways not it's beautiful domestic fauna, dainty flowers and seemingly daily spring/summer thunderstorms that can be seen on the horizon.

Sidenote: I can't believe they put power lines through the refuge. So thoughtless, especially considering they probably could've run underground cables from the ocean. All this just to power a few govt. buildings on the property and the adjacent towns.

 If I could give 0 stars, I would! 

1 star.

Not for me.  Such a big park for so few people. Views of the "Swiss Alps of America" and nobody to share them with, what a shame. 

At one point we found enough space to play Finnish Skittles (not a 1 Star game), but that still didn't move the needle on this park. The only other people that we saw in the 3 hours at this park were unwilling to join our game of Molkky.

1 Star. 

Again with the human destruction of nature - I could see at least a handful of electrical lines from a certain part of the trail. The wildflowers and lawns in the surrounding meadows were poorly maintained and very overgrown.

1 Star. 

Human intrusion at its worst! The space to amble was so wide and the terrain so varied (cracked earth, dried up reservoir banks, dirt trails, low meadows, gravel trails, even a beach) that the paved pathway was total overkill. Some dolt actually approved that pathway. More than anything it practically ruined the view of the mountains (which you could only see when walking in one direction anyways).

At one point a flock of blue birds flew in front of us which was quite unpleasant. 

This would be a great place for a rugged car commercial but practically nothing else.

1 Star. 

Honestly it doesn't really matter what segment of the Colorado Trail that you hike, I'm guessing they're all equally as unremarkable. Trees, rocks, snow, the sky, about 3 other dogs and their humans. That was the whole hike, just 7 miles of that. Not my idea of a good time. You can easily find pictures of all those things on the internet from the comfort of your own home where it's not ~55 degrees Fahrenheit.

1 Star.